Sunday, July 31, 2005

GOOD MORNING TSA!


This message is for all of the "Special" people at the TSA that will always hold a special place in my heart just for having known them.

John, Max, Bob, Lori, Kim, Kent, Bruce, Mike, Krista, Brenda, Blaine, Ray, Dawn, Mark, Paul, Erik. This message is for all of you, the ones who keep the lines down to the parking lot, who stand and do NOTHING while others work their asses off and make YOU look good, the ones whose son's get their boyfriend's daughter pregnant WHILE you still live and are married to your husband, the ones who grab screeners by their lanyards and yank on their neck to get their attention, the ones who sit in the bar watching the Pittsburgh Steelers football game WHILE at work, the ones who are as stupid as they are tall, the ones who do their college homework AT work, thus allowing the taxpayers of America to foot the bill for you getting your degree in BasketWeaving, the managers who are good at doing nothing ALL day and needing help to do even More Nothing,the training coordinator who makes 70 thousand or more a year doing absolutely NOTHING to train screeners but sit on his fat stupid ass making "training" videos that are WRONG, the ones in human resources who make screeners fill out their own workmans comp papers and do...well... nothing, and the two who let this all happen and just ignore the problems and brush it all under the carpet hoping Washington continues to do nothing so that you can continue to collect Muy Dineros of the Taxpayers money and walk all over the ones who work for you...THIS FINGER IS FOR YOU!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

MORE SCREENER CUTS COMING?


Airport chiefs: Proposed screener cuts a bad idea
Senate measure would cut 6,000 TSA workers

By Thomas Frank
USA TODAY

Airline passengers will face longer airport security lines starting
this fall if Congress goes through with plans to cut up to 13% of the
nation's checkpoint screeners, a top Transportation Security
Administration official said Thursday.

Thomas Blank, TSA's acting deputy administrator, said the Homeland
Security Department is fighting a Senate spending measure that would
cut 6,000 of the agency's 45,000 screeners.

The House voted to cut 2,000 screeners in the budget that takes effect
Oct. 1, Blank told a Capitol Hill hearing.

Rep. Hal Rogers, R-Ky., chairman of the House subcommittee that
oversees Homeland Security funding, disputed Blank's figures and said
the House is not cutting any screeners but is cutting unnecessary
management costs.

Airport directors predicted enormous lines if 6,000 screeners are cut
as air travel hits record levels.

“There's no one who's going to get through a checkpoint in 10 minutes,”
William DeCota, aviation director at Kennedy, LaGuardia and Newark
airports, said afterward.

Ben DeCosta, manager of Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International
Airport, said the TSA told him Tuesday that the airport would lose
several hundred screeners under the Senate plan.

“I'm concerned that the lines would be over an hour and would go around
the building, through baggage claim, out the door and down the
sidewalks,” DeCosta said.

Blank told the panel that “very crowded airport lobbies are a security
threat” because so many people could be an inviting target for
terrorists.

The Senate slashed 6,000 screeners after rejecting an administration
proposal to add a $3 fee to airline tickets to help pay for aviation
security. Earlier this month, Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va., called the
cuts “very unfortunate” and blamed them on a budgetary misunderstanding
about the process for raising fees.

The House plan cut 5% from the administration's proposal for screeners
but added $40 million to buy automated luggage-scanning machines that
require far fewer screeners to operate than are needed to handle manual
machines now in many airports.

Rogers said he was “pushing TSA to install next-generation
technologies” that would improve bomb detection in luggage, speed up
screening and cut personnel costs.

Rep. Norm Dicks, D-Wash., criticized the administration for not seeking
more money to meet airport demand for automated luggage scanners.
“There is a chance here for major savings,” Dicks said.

TSA's Blank said increased air travel is generating more fees for
airports, which “are sitting on some cash that they can invest” in
security.

Blank testified the same day the TSA announced its annual
redistribution of screeners at the 441 airports where it provides
security. Airports will gradually lose or gain screeners in coming
months.

The big winners: Las Vegas' McCarran International Airport, Houston's
Intercontinental and Los Angeles International Airport, which opened
seven new security lanes this month to alleviate some of the longest
lines in the USA. “It will be a great help,” LAX spokesman Tom Winfrey
said.

STAFFING NUMBERS


Buckle up my Screener Friends at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Click on the post title for the link to the proposed staffing numbers for each airport in the country. None of them are going up.....More like a Screener Manager in the FSD's office....THEY ARE GOING DOWN!

The Gerald R. Ford International Airport or GRR is number 105 on the list. Check it out. I am sure Management has not told you any of this.

What would be funny as hell is if everyone just got sick of the mistreatment, the lack of communication and all of the BULLSHIT and just up and said "TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!" and quit all on the same day. I would laugh my ass off just to see all of the Supervisors and Managers having to be the ones to bust their humps for once!

You guys might want to start seeking new employment soon. With privatization and cuts, it's just not a very secure future for ya...I can't wait to see everyone working at the new casino when that opens up.

TSA STAFF MEETING AT THE GERALD R. FORD INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT!

This picture best represents a TSA SUPERVIORS MEETING. It's really all that gets accomplished at one of their staff meetings.....A HUGE "FUCKING THE DOG" SESSION.

TSA GESTAPO TACTICS AGAINST SCREENERS-MAX'S LAW

This is what's occurring every single day at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, Michigan. TSA officials have warned their screeners and made them sign a memo basicly telling them that as Government Employees, they are not allowed to speak out against the very government for which they work. If they want to work for the Transportation Security Administration, they then have to give up their Constitutional Rights to FREE SPEECH! All in an effort to silence them from revealing what incompetent Administration, Management, and Supervisors they truly have. To me, it is a classic case of Government Fraud. The people running the TSA in Grand Rapids, Michigan don't want people to know how poorly they are handling things. Let it be Known though, The Screeners themselves at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport are the finest in the business, bar none. It is because of their competence that they make the Incompetent Boobs who think they are running the show look good. How do the Screeners get repaid for their efforts?.....Intimidation, Verbal Abuse, Physical Assault, and just plain and simple, NO LEADERSHIP WHATSOEVER!

Good leaders are suppose to help their subordinates succeed. What the Screeners at GRR have is OVERSEERS. Supervisors who are unwilling to make decisions that benifit their team's efforts to do the job; Afraid to rock the boat. Most of these clowns, the supervisors and both the managers, have, as I believe, realized that they have the best job that they will EVER have in their lives. They know that no one in their right minds in the private sector would ever give them the opportunity to be such tremendous screwups as they are right now working for the Government. As we all know, the Federal Government is not out to make a profit. They exist for the sole purpose of spending YOUR money as foolishly as possible because, simply, They know it's not their's!

Infringing on Constitutional Rights. Hindering of Free Speech. Next thing you know, the FSD and the AFSD alongside of both bungling boobs who fill the positions of Screener Manager will be burning the Constitution and the Bill of Rights as part of their own version of the Patriot Act. TSA STYLE!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

TOTALLY SILLY AGENCY

THIS IS EXERPTS TAKEN FROM AN OPINION EDITORIAL ON SCREENR-CENTRAL.COM

I don't have a problem with the criticisms in Beth Pembroke's article other than her applying the problems she encountered at LAX at what appears to be all airports across the nation. No doubt that other airports are experiencing similar problems; I just don't think it applies across the board.

I think this is symptomatic of major airports more than it is of other airports. I believe that in major cities such as New York, Atlanta, LA and Chicago, the starting wages for screeners, leads and supervisors aren't competitive even with the adjustments for locality pay. Hate to stereotype, but you get what you paid for. I'm sure that there are a great number of dedicated and professional screeners in these cities, but once you get enough supervisors and leads with poor work ethics or unprofessional standards, it tends to discourage those good workers who would stay the course and rise through the ranks to improve the organization.



Sad truth is that NCS Pearson, may its name be cursed forever, did a truly sloppy job hiring screeners, leads, supervisors and screening managers. There were plenty of good people who were hired because they applied for these jobs NOT because NCS Pearson successfully selected the best applicants. Again, trying to avoid stereotyping, but I think there's an element of truth in explaining why some supervisors are of such low quality and others are not.

As for the criminal backgrounds, that's the risk any employer takes. However, if someone with a previous felony conviction made it through, then I again have to fault NCS Pearson. A simple NCIC check should have detected a previous felony conviction. Misdemeanors, on the other hand, are a different story and require a more in-depth inquiry. That's just the nature of a system designed to protect our rights and privacy.

My consistent criticism of TSA is its poor leadership. Of all the issues confronting TSA (cargo screening, the shoe screening policy, selectee passenger screening, lighter bans, Privacy Act violations, etc), the number one problem which may soon erupt and have dire consequences is TSA's poor leadership. It will erode the agency from the inside and spell disaster for the public that has little trust in it as it is already. Does this necessarily mean that unionizing TSA screeners may solve the problem? I don't know the answer to that. I'm usually reluctant to participate in unions, but in this case, with an unresponsive and uncaring leadership & management staff, this may be the solution. It could also worsen it.

Point is that TSA is clueless about its own internal problems and is still focused on its public image (yeah, see the contradiction there?). Rather than spouting out how many scissors were detected at the checkpoint and twisting that statistic as somehow contributing to aviation safety and security, TSA needs to take a cold hard look internally and work on creating a truly model workplace that motivates screeners to re-dedicate themselves as public servants protecting the public interest. If TSA does this, then all the other pieces will fall into place.

THE SECRET TO SHORTER LINES AND LESS WAITING

THIS MAKES JUST TOO MUCH SENSE FOR THE MORONS WHO RUN THE SHOW AT THE GERALD R. FORD TO TRY...BESIDES, THEY WOULD HAVE TO GIVE BONUSES TO SCREENERS INSTEAD OF THEMSELVES. THAT, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE COVENANT SECURITY A SUBSIDIARY OF LOCKHEED MARTIN HAS MORE AND BETTER CONTROL OVER SECURITY THEN THE SCHMUCKS WHO DIRECT TRAFFIC JAMS AT THE TSA.

USA TODAY/By Thomas Frank, USA TODAY

SAN FRANCISCO — In a windowless control center inside San Francisco
International Airport, Roger Bell punches codes into a computer and
swivels a joystick to maneuver any of the 1,200 cameras tucked
throughout the airport.
Bell can pan across a terminal or zoom in on someone waiting to
check in. But as he watches seven screens on a wall, he is looking
for one image: hordes of people about to flood a security checkpoint.

That's code-red, and Bell's signal to grab the phone, hit speed dial
and direct supervisors to move screeners from quiet checkpoints to
ones that are about to be swamped.

Screeners are shifted 100 times a day. That helps give San Francisco
some of the fastest airport security lines in the country and
exemplifies how airports can minimize delays.

San Francisco is one of five U.S. airports where security is not
provided by the federal agency created after the Sept. 11 attacks.
As the debate continues over whether the nation's airports should
use a private or government security force, San Francisco is an
example of how private security can make a difference — if
implemented well.

Security waits at San Francisco were longer than 10 minutes only 2%
of the time from June 2004 to mid-May, a USA TODAY analysis of
federal records shows. At other large airports, lines exceeded 10
minutes nearly four times as often.

"It's an efficient airport," says passenger Luke Alexander of San
Jose, Calif., who regularly takes international flights from San
Francisco.

After Sept. 11, the Transportation Security Administration took over
passenger screening from airlines, which had security companies
plagued by high turnover. The law creating TSA let five airports
have private security with TSA oversight to provide a comparison.

Despite San Francisco's experience, TSA says there's no clear
evidence that private management shortens lines.

A TSA-commissioned study in April 2004 found that
passengers "experienced shorter wait times" at San Francisco's
checkpoints and that security there was no more or less effective
than at other large airports.



But TSA spokeswoman Yolanda Clark says "any number of variables" can
explain San Francisco's security lines, such as flight schedules or
the number of security lanes. Other large airports with TSA
screeners, such as Detroit, Minneapolis and Charlotte, also have
short lines.

A division of labor

At San Francisco, Covenant Aviation Security of Illinois hires,
trains, schedules, manages and pays San Francisco's 1,140 screeners.
The TSA pays Covenant $79 million a year and dictates training,
security procedures and minimum salary for its screeners.

Deputy airport director Tryg McCoy cites an "inherent advantage" in
San Francisco's model: "The private sector can concern themselves
with the human resources efforts, managing the workforce and
complying with regulations the TSA issues, and the (TSA's) federal
security director can concentrate on security."

Covenant says it has improved management in the following ways:

• It employs a large number of part-timers — about 30% of its
screeners compared with 15% for the TSA. Most are college students,
says Covenant's chief recruiter, Heidi Funk. Part-timers often work
four-hour shifts and are assigned to the busiest travel periods to
maximize the number of security lanes.

• It says it has sharply cut the number of screeners out on workers'
compensation. That reduces absences that can force security lanes to
close. Covenant safety manager Dana Heimdahl required injured
workers to report to the airport in case they were needed to work
light duty instead of waiting for a call at home. "There were a lot
of miraculous cures," she says.

• It stations human "queue masters," instead of signs or video
monitors, to instruct fliers at checkpoints on protocols such as
removing shoes. "They pay more attention to an actual person who's
talking to them as opposed to staring at a screen," says Brian
O'Dell, Covenant's San Francisco general manager.

• It closely monitors worker performance. Covert teams go through
checkpoints to see if proper procedures are used. Computers track
how often screeners detect images of fake weapons flashed on baggage
X-ray machines during a work shift. The best screeners operate X-
rays during busiest times and mentor sub-par screeners, says
training director Ryan Yee.

• It rewards top screeners with bonuses of up to $2,000 and pins
denoting them a "master screener" or "customer service ambassador."

• It runs an intricate computer program that forecasts how many
passengers will go through each checkpoint every day at every hour.
That determines how many screening lanes should be open.

"You'll never see a bunch of screeners standing around at lanes that
aren't being used," says Covenant President Gerry Berry, a retired
Marine colonel who worked for six months at TSA headquarters after
its creation in 2002.

At the other airports with private security, the record is mixed.
Kansas City and Tupelo, Miss., had short lines, USA TODAY's analysis
of wait times recorded at each airport from June 2004 to mid-May
shows. Lines were about average at Jackson Hole (Wyo.) Airport and
longer at Rochester (N.Y.) International Airport.

McCoy, San Francisco's deputy airport director, says the airport
increased the number of security lanes from 33 to 39 — which many
airports have done to shorten lines — and added 800 cameras to its
system.

Covenant paid for 20 or so cameras at checkpoints, but the idea for
the monitoring center came from the airport and TSA.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

SECRETS AND LIES IN THE "FRIENDLY" SKIES

This story can only support what I already know. The TSA is CORRUPT and MORALLY BANKRUPT.(Management and Administration, that is)

By Bruce Schneier, Schneier.com. Posted July 27, 2005.

Last Friday, the GAO issued a new report [PDF link] on Secure Flight. It's couched in friendly language, but it's not good:


During the course of our ongoing review of the Secure Flight program, we found that TSA did not fully disclose to the public its use of personal information in its fall 2004 privacy notices as required by the Privacy Act. In particular, the public was not made fully aware of, nor had the opportunity to comment on, TSA's use of personal information drawn from commercial sources to test aspects of the Secure Flight program. In September 2004 and November 2004, TSA issued privacy notices in the Federal Register that included descriptions of how such information would be used. However, these notices did not fully inform the public before testing began about the procedures that TSA and its contractors would follow for collecting, using, and storing commercial data. In addition, the scope of the data used during commercial data testing was not fully disclosed in the notices. Specifically, a TSA contractor, acting on behalf of the agency, collected more than 100 million commercial data records containing personal information such as name, date of birth, and telephone number without informing the public. As a result of TSA's actions, the public did not receive the full protections of the Privacy Act.

Get that? The TSA violated federal law when it secretly expanded Secure Flight's use of commercial data about passengers. It also lied to Congress and the public about it.

Much of this isn't new. Last month we learned that "the federal agency in charge of aviation security revealed that it bought and is storing commercial data about some passengers -- even though officials said they wouldn't do it and Congress told them not to."

Secure Flight is a disaster in every way. The TSA has been operating with complete disregard for the law or Congress. It has lied to pretty much everyone. And it is turning Secure Flight from a simple program to match airline passengers against terrorist watch lists into a complex program that compiles dossiers on passengers in order to give them some kind of score indicating the likelihood that they are a terrorist.

Which is exactly what it was not supposed to do in the first place.

My fear is that TSA has already decided that they're going to use commercial data, regardless of any test results. And once you have commercial data, why not build a dossier on every passenger and give them a risk score? So we're back to CAPPS-II, the very system Congress killed last summer. Actually, we're very close to TIA (Total/Terrorism Information Awareness), that vast spy-on-everyone data-mining program that Congress killed in 2003 because it was just too invasive.

Secure Flight is a mess in lots of other ways, too. A March GAO report[PDF link] said that Secure Flight had not met nine out of the ten conditions mandated by Congress before TSA could spend money on implementing the program. (If you haven't read this report, it's pretty scathing.) The redress problem -- helping people who cannot fly because they share a name with a terrorist -- is not getting any better. And Secure Flight is behind schedule and over budget.

It's also a rogue program that is operating in flagrant disregard for the law. It can't be killed completely; the Intelligence Reform and Terrorism Prevention Act of 2004 mandates that TSA implement a program of passenger prescreening. And until we have Secure Flight, airlines will still be matching passenger names with terrorist watch lists under the CAPPS-I program. But it needs some serious public scrutiny.

Security technologist and expert Bruce Schneier is the founder and CTO of Counterpane Internet Security, Inc.

TSA JOBS THAT ARE A TREMENDOUS WASTE-CONGRESS WANTS INVESTIGATION INTO MANAGEMENT JOBS AT THE AIRPORTS.

Thanks again to the LONEWATCHMAN for sending this article to me. This should make a few schmucks at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport start to worry. Especially the 2 lame brains that fill the position as managers but leave alot to be desired ain the field of leadership and command.And let us not forget my two good friends the AFSD and the FSD...We all know what those initials really stand for......Without them, this website would be boring, and taxpayers would have to go back to paying $700 for a toilet seat instead of the many many thousands of dollars these two wastes of space are collecting from the taxpayers back pocket.

Some airport security jobs a 'waste' By Thomas Frank, USA TODAY Posted
7/12/2005 11:50 PM Updated 7/13/2005 10:50 AM WASHINGTON

— The head of the House aviation subcommittee has asked for an
investigation into what he alleges is an excessive number of federal
security administrators at airports, many of whom have "questionable
job descriptions that pay over $100,000 annually." Rep. John Mica,
R-Fla., wrote last week to Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff
and the department's inspector general to complain that some
Transportation Security Administration employees have "poorly defined
responsibilities" whose jobs are "a tremendous waste." The TSA, part of
the Homeland Security Department, runs airport security. Mica, a
frequent TSA critic, wants Chertoff to cut the TSA's administrative
staff or Congress to impose a cap. He also wants Inspector General
Richard Skinner to investigate. The TSA said 837 of its 55,000
employees, or 1.5%, get a base salary of $100,000 or more. TSA
spokesman Mark Hatfield called the agency's administrative staffing
"very lean" and said most larger airports have too few administrative
employees. "We're doing more with less than most federal agencies,"
Hatfield said. Skinner's office said that it would decide shortly
whether to look into Mica's concerns. The House has proposed cutting
$36 million of the $280 million sought by the TSA for airport
management in 2006, saying the agency added nearly 1,000 administrators
in the past two years.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

UPDATE

I had my first day at my new job yesterday! It is so nice working at a place that actually VALUES their employees. For all of you still stuck at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, Michigan, There is life after the TSA...No REALLY, there is!

I am so happy not to have to put myself through the stupidity of the Supervision and Management of the Transportation Security Administration anymore. Especially at GRR.

Once again I must reiterate that I have NEVER, EVER worked in a place where the Administration, Management and Supervision were all EQUALLY INCOMPETENT and literally FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION. If you were to describe the best supervisor in the place, it would be that the person was the best of the worst. Actually the lesser of the evils because they were all freakin idiots. The cronyism, the adolesent secret keeping, even the filtering of information desseminated to the screeners by the supervisors only proves how RIGHT I AM! It was like working for a bunch of Liberal Democrats.

Except for working in the prison system, I have never, ever seen so many ASSHOLES concentrated into one small area in my entire life. It was like being at the Democratic National Convention.

The place I work for is always looking for talented people. Give me a shout and I will refer you to the website to apply. Good Luck Screeners, and Baruch Hashem!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

SCREENING MANAGER JOB DESCRIPTION


{Does'nt the Schmuck above look like the "No Brainer B*%#r}
I would like to thank the LoneWatchman for this little informational tidbit.

I wish the Screeners of the TSA at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, Michigan could tell me if this Job Description for Screener Manager, which by the way was taken from USAJOBS.COM, word for word, even closely resembles anything that the two chowderheads at GRR do during the course of their 8 hour day.

PRINCIPAL DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES:
Incumbent functions as a Screening Manager responsible for individuals
at screening checkpoints. Manages screening checkpoints that are central
to Transportation Security Administration (TSA) objectives and that will
serve to protect the traveling public by preventing any deadly or dangerous
objects from being transported onto an aircraft. The incumbent works under close
supervision and review.

Maintains communication with supervisors regarding any issues that
might reveal a weakness or vulnerable area of security screening that is discovered in the course of screening duties. Participates in information briefings
concerning security-sensitive or classified information.

Tell me if I'm wrong. A vast majority of their day is spent, not on the checkpoint, where alas, they might then fist hand witness the shenanigans that the Supervisors are into on a CONSTANT basis, but NO....They, the Screening Managers, spend almost their entire shift AWAY from the checkpoint, whether its DOWNSTAIRS in their office or on their own hour and a half lunch break going to the GYM or as one former AFSD called it, "The Gun Factory".

Yes, they do make their occasional appearance on the checkpoint, but that's only for a short moment. It is the opinion of this writer and that of many of the Screeners,(I know this because we spoke about it so often when I worked there) that maybe, just maybe, then they would have a better handle on the way the Supervisors perform their duties. Maybe then, they're would be less use of Intimidation, Less waste of the Taxpayers money because of the hour and a half lunch breaks, several half hour smoke breaks, watching of football games in the Airport Bar, earning one's degree on the clock, and maybe then morale might pick up.

But, I fear that these things will never happen. At the Gerald R. Ford International Airport, Administrators, Managers, and Supervisors/Leads are all "Do as I say, not as I do" type of bosses. Not true leaders. A true LEADER would lead by example thus setting a good example for the Screeners, maybe even forging relationships with their subordinates. Not at the Gerald R. Ford.

I have spoken with Screeners from several different airports around the country, and at all but the Gerald R. Ford International, the Screener Manager is on the Checkpoint MOST OF THE SHIFT!

When I spoke to one of the Screener managers about this on one occasion, he told me, and I quote, "That it is NOT the job of the Screener Manager to Supervise the Supervisors on the Checkpoint. No wonder these lugnuts get away with the shit that they get away with. The screener managers allow the Supervisors to be UnSupervised. At least that's the way I understand it to be. I could be wrong...But I doubt it.

I must say though, it is freakin hilarious to see these Schmucks,(the Supervisors, Managers, and Administrator) all huddled up in deep top secret conversation. I swear, if you were to rub all of their heads together, you would'nt even be able to spark ANYTHING closely resembling a thought, let alone a flame.

Yes, these are the same Schmucks that decided to do random drug testing on Screeners, ON THE CHECKPOINT in the Family Bathroom. And when they decided that was not such a good idea (DUH), they took it off the grounds to the Fire Station. I was marched all the way to the other side of the airport, and when I asked the Screener Manager what was going on, she would not tell me. She simply stated, "You'll find out when we get there". Now mind you, I have been picked for random drug testing MANY, MANY times, and I have never, ever seen it done in a TOP SECRET fasion as it was done that time. What was I going to do? Run away? If that was the case, then I would have been fired for refusing a drug test. BIG DEAL! TOP FREAKIN SECRET. I still laugh thinking about these Chowderheads and their disfunctional antics.

Read the Job Description above again, and then ask yourself...Does my Screener Manager perform his/her duties as this states? Be near a bathroom, you'll laugh so hard you'll pee your freakin pants just picturing Ren and Stimpy of the Gerald R. Ford.

My Prayers and Thoughts are with you guys. Screeners Rule...Managers Drool!

49 THINGS A MAJORITY OF SCREENERS WISH THEY COULD SAY TO TSA MANAGEMENT AT GRR

  1. I don't work here. I'm a Screener Manager.
  2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
  3. How about never? Is never good for you?
  4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
  8. Ahhh...I see the f-ck-up fairy has visited us again...
  9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
  10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
  11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of Federal Employers.
  13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
  14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
  18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
  20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
  21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
  24. You sound reasonable... time to up my medication.
  25. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  26. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
  27. Do I look like a people person?
  28. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  29. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
  30. You! Off my Checkpoint!
  31. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
  32. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  33. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
  34. Allow me to introduce my selves.
  35. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  36. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  37. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
  38. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
  39. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
  40. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
  41. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
  42. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
  43. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  44. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
  45. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  46. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
  47. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  48. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  49. How many times must I flush before you leave?

Friday, July 22, 2005

AND THE AWARD GOES TOO..............

For those of you unaware of how the cash award system really works at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport, I'm going to give you a quick primer on what REALLY goes on behind the scenes.

Of course, Screeners get Some of the cash awards, but many of the Supervisors and some of the leads sit downstairs and actually nominate each other to get awards.

The "Pirates Dream" of Afternoons and Mr. TSA himself have been observed nominating each other.

The Jolly Green Giant and a Screener who shall remain nameless but her name rhymes with "Catty" have allegedly nominated each other for awards. After all, the Giant is such a dumb ass in his own right, how else would he ever get an award.

The "Pirates Dream" does it just to help cover her tracks for ever screw up and bone head move she just seems to do on a regular basis.

There you go folks. A quick primer on how Screwed your getting. Not only do they make all of the money in wages, they Schtup you on the cash awards too.

There will be more to follow on this one.......

Thursday, July 21, 2005

LET'S NOT FORGET SPECIAL & TALL What's his Name!

Could you picture "Special K" doin something like this?
We've all seen this lech drooling and staring on the checkpoint
And he's been known to make off color comments about
the ladies that come through the checkpoint. But as a "Lead"
He is immune to any repercucussions of his actions. After
all, they would never punish one of their own.

But then there is of course one on afternoon shift. This guy is a joke. He thinks he has every promotion "Locked Up" till they tell him they gave it too one of their Coast Guard cronies or some other schmuck with better knee pads and not as rough of a chin to lay ones....Well you know where I'm goin with this one. Even the Supervisors laugh at this putz. And oh yeah....Wash your own Freakin bins!.....

Rumor has it that he was seen wearing a shirt similar to the one pictured. I guess he's big eneough to be a billboard, but WOW, what a Public Relations Jerk Off!


I heard that it was a passenger that told a Supervisor recently about seeing this Schmuck out in public wearing a t shirt that said this.

Alright, Gotta Go! Don't forget to keep me up to date on the whole Skipper and Barney thing.
One last thought, hmm makes you wonder if Deputy Barney does'nt have underlying Homosexual tendencies. Schtupping someone who looks like a little boy and all. Oh yeah, is'nt she still living with her husband.....Can you say "THREESOME"....Can you say "YUK"!
Later on Guys!

TSA JOB POSTING-TRUTH IN ADVERTISING


IF THERE REALLY WAS TRUTH IN ADVERTISING, THIS WOULD BE THE "HELP WANTED" AD FOR THE TRANSPORTATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION. ESPECIALLY THE TSA AT THE GERALD R. FORD INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT IN GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN.

BOSS' PORTRAIT


FSD= Fucking Stupid Dick...
AFSD=Another Fucking Stupid Dick...

Kind of hard to narrow down who this resembles the most. Gonna have to swing a dead cat on this one. This portrait belongs on both checkpoints. Have a good one guys...Keep laughing!

NEW GAME

Let's play "Guess The Schmuck"......Who could I be talking about?

What Pittsburgh Steeler fan had to be told to wear deoderant before he was promoted to Supervisor because of his odoriferous presense on the checkpoint? Still hav'nt guessed.....Keep Playing......

He has no neck and no appearance of a chin, it looks like his shoulders blew a bubble? Still having problems, keep playin.................

He is hardly ever without a cup of StarBucks coffee in his hand, and his ass has taken on the impression of the stool he most often can be found sitting in, that is when he is even on the checkpoint? One more hint.....................

His name rhymes with oddly eneough, "NO BRAINER"...............

OK, now it's your turn to Guess The Schmuck. Send in your guesses. Have Fun!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

THE FACE OF FREEDOM




MEET THE GUY BEHIND THE GENIUS.........THE ROGUE JEW! OFTEN IMITATED, NEVER DUPLICATED.

Almost two hundred hits a day to this site now! Thank You Everyone. CHA CHING!

JOKES

I thought that I would lighten things up a bit today and include a couple of jokes for all of my readers. Mind you, I always have a theme or a underlying reason for something, so here goes.....

Remember all of the "REDNECK" jokes as told by Jeff Foxworthy? Well, I'm going to start a new kind of joke..."You might be a looser if...." Let's see if anyone gets these jokes.

1. You might be a looser if your son gets your boyfriends daughter knocked up!
2. You might be a looser if your a grandmother before you turn 40.
3. You might be a looser if your haircut causes people to think your a boy!

4.A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out
to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale
department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you
have a size 28AAAA bra?"
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and
proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much
the same manner. After a third try at another
department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the
mall, she drove to K-Mart.
Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her
blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?"
The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried
Clearasil?"



Make no doubt about it....CHECK FREAKIN MATE MUTHA SCRATCHER!

OBITUARY-THE DEATH OF FREEDOM AND LIBERTY!

November 25, 2002, with the signature of George W. Bush creating the Department of Homeland Security, a milestone in the History of our great country was marked by the death of the Twin Pillars of our society, Freedom and Liberty.

The fight to keep alive these two foundations of our Nation has been a long and arduous one. The mercilous attacks on them have come from politicians on both sides of the aisle in their ever continuing grab for more and more power. Regardless of popular support for the twins, the political class has long sought to bring about their demise. In a "Bi-Partisan" effort both houses of Congress have voted to destroy the most important rights of the People, only a very few of the Congress opposed the death of these important twins.

Those of us who have known these twins for a long time will be very much saddened by their death, and those who have only known them briefly will soon learn how important they were to the Welfare and Security of our Great Country. With the death of Liberty and Freedom it will only be a short time until the Populace of this country will be living under a Dictatorship, controlled by an "Elite" class of politicians who will dictate every facet of our lives.

Requiem In Pacet!

NEW UNIFORM ADDITIONS-Gags and Restraints.















It is to my understanding, that the TSA is adding a new item to their uniform as soon as possible. A gag is to be issued to all Screeners starting yesterday so as to not speak out about wrong doings by their Slave Handlers.
It is to my knowledge that the death of freedom and liberty is the cause of this reactionary process. Obiturary of freedom to follow.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

THE FIRST AMENDMENT

This is a reminder to the Upper Crust of the TSA that you are suppose to be defending freedom and liberty and not hindering it by putting a muzzle on the people that work for you. Instead of getting mad at me, why do you not do something about the allegations made about these rogue supervisors? Is it easier to be angry at me rather then look in the mirror and see what is wrong with yourselves? I guess my hope was that you might actually look into the allegations made about these walking wastes of taxpayer money. Keep hiding your head in the sand. My one hope is that all of you from Supervisor up will someday have to work for someone as incompetent and ineffective as yourselves.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
— The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution

The First Amendment was written because at America's inception, citizens demanded a guarantee of their basic freedoms.

Our blueprint for personal freedom and the hallmark of an open society, the First Amendment protects freedom of speech, press, religion, assembly and petition.

Without the First Amendment, religious minorities could be persecuted, the government might well establish a national religion, protesters could be silenced, the press could not criticize government, and citizens could not mobilize for social change.

When the U.S. Constitution was signed on Sept. 17, 1787, it did not contain the essential freedoms now outlined in the Bill of Rights, because many of the Framers viewed their inclusion as unnecessary. However, after vigorous debate, the Bill of Rights was adopted. The first freedoms guaranteed in this historic document were articulated in the 45 words written by James Madison that we have come to know as the First Amendment.

The Bill of Rights — the first 10 amendments to the Constitution — went into effect on Dec. 15, 1791, when the state of Virginia ratified it, giving the bill the majority of ratifying states required to protect citizens from the power of the federal government.

The First Amendment ensures that "if there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion, or force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein," as Justice Robert Jackson wrote in the 1943 case West Virginia v. Barnette.

And as Justice William Brennan wrote in New York Times v. Sullivan in 1964, the First Amendment provides that "debate on public issues ... [should be] ... uninhibited, robust, and wide-open."

However, Americans vigorously dispute the application of the First Amendment.

Most people believe in the right to free speech, but debate whether it should cover flag-burning, hard-core rap and heavy-metal lyrics, tobacco advertising, hate speech, pornography, nude dancing, solicitation and various forms of symbolic speech. Many would agree to limiting some forms of free expression, as seen in the First Amendment Center's State of the First Amendment survey reports.

Most people, at some level, recognize the necessity of religious liberty and toleration, but some balk when a religious tenet of a minority religion conflicts with a generally applicable law or with their own religious faith. Many Americans see the need to separate the state from the church to some extent, but decry the banning of school-sponsored prayer from public schools and the removal of the Ten Commandments from public buildings.


Such difficulties are the price of freedom of speech and religion in a tolerant, open society.

Monday, July 18, 2005

R.I.P.

I think the picture says it all! Good Luck Lonewatchman! Inept and Incapable Leadership Chases Out Yet Another Good Man! In The Words of Great Jewish Athlete, Bill Goldberg,"WHOSE NEXT!"

PROMOTIONS AND MANAGEMENT TRAINING IN THE TSA


INTERVIEWS FOR A SUPERVISORS POSITION AT THE GERALD R. FORD WERE HELD RECENTLY. ONE COULD ONLY IMAGINE THAT THE SCENE RESEMBLED SOMETHING LIKE THIS

ONCE THE SUCCESSFUL APPLICANT IS PROMOTED, THAT LUCKY PERSON WILL GET TO ATTEND WHAT I WAS TOLD BY MAX IS THE BEST SUPERVISORS TRAINING SCHOOL IN THE NATION. I BELIEVE THAT THIS FOLLOWING PICTURE CAPTURES THAT FINE CLASS AT ITS BRIGHTEST MOMENT

ANOTHER FINE EXAMPLE OF IMAGE ENHANCEMENT


It has recently come to my attention that a lead on afternoons, who shall remain nameless, was seen wearing a t-shirt similar to the one pictured above. This is the same bufoon that thinks he is a shoe in for the promotion to supervisor. I am sure that rumors of the t-shirt incident will earn him miles toward that promotion and yet still prove my point on what a schmuck he is. I understand that the shirt was 4x extra extra tall.

I know my image of sups and leads has improved......Yeah Right!

IT WOULD BE HARD TO FIGURE OUT JUST WHAT SUPERVISOR OR LEAD IS PICTURED BELOW. IT COULD BE A NUMBER OF PEOPLE. THE PROBLEM IS GETTING THEM TO PULL THEIR HEAD OUT OF THEIR ASSES SO WE CAN SEE WHO IS WHO!
NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE THE IMAGE I HAVE OF THE TSA MANAGEMENT AT THE GERALD R. FORD INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT IN GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN.Loser

Sunday, July 17, 2005

PROMOTING WHO?-STORY BY THE LONEWATCHMAN

Here’s a quick but true story about the promotion process I experianced
while working for the TSA. It should make everyone think twice about
who is making the decisions that keep them safe in the air.

So who are the candidates and who gets the promotion?

A woman with a BA in psychology, and whom has been acting lead multiple
times? Nope.

How about the 82nd Airborne vet, who actually applied with a 10 point
vet preference for disability? He also acted as a lead damn near every
weekend while we were short leads. Should he get the promotion? Nope.

How about the guy that gave up his first year of marriage to guard the
captured terrorists that created the TSA. The guy who had been face to
face and hands on with the jerk that missed the plane four years ago.
Does he get promoted? Nope.

Here we go, someone with only a GED and some time as a screener prior
to 9-11. Yup, that's the promotion.

Does this instance fit in with the mission of national security?
Is this ethical?
Is this even legal concerning veteran's preference?
Do you feel safe at the airport?

THE LONEWATCHMAN

SCREENING MANAGEMENT FOR DUMMIES


I THINK THE BOOK SHOULD REALLY BE NAMED; "SCREENING MANAGEMENT FOR DUMMIES BY DUMMIES"
HAVING WORKED FOR THE CREAM OF THE CROP, I HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT THIS BOOK REALLY DOES EXIST AND IS USED!

WEEKEND SHOUT OUT

Below is a picture of the People in charge of the TSA at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, Michigan.















Just want to give a weekend shout out to the boobs at HR who I know are reading this along with the weinies at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

BEST COMEBACK EVER

Hey what do you know. Something that doesn't have to do with that bunch of bungling morons who run the TSA at the Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids Michigan.

BEST COMEBACK EVER

A Soldier tells about an incident in the grocery store he stopped
at yesterday, on his way home from the base. He said that ahead of
several people in front of him stood a woman dressed in a burkha.
He said when she got to the cashier she loudly remarked about the
US flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock.

The cashier reached up and touched the pin, and said proudly,
"Yes, I always wear it and I probably always will."

The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going
to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

A gentleman standing behind the soldier stepped forward, putting
his arm around his shoulders, and nodding towards the soldier, said
in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman: "Lady, hundreds of
thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU
could stand here, in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of
bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief that had you been this
outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need to be there today.
But, hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and
clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq
so you can straighten out the mess in YOUR country that you are
obviously here in MY country to avoid."

Everyone within hearing distance cheered.

Friday, July 15, 2005

ISRAELI AIRLINE SECURITY-BEST IN THE WORLD!

And You Trust the TSA to Protect You?
My family and I flew to Israel last week on El Al, but we bought our tickets through Delta, which flew us from Reagan National to JFK. Delta let us check our luggage in D.C. for the whole trip, which surprised me, because El Al usually has its own security screening. It turned out that the bags were supposed to be screened again in New York, which no one mentioned until we were about to board the plane for Tel Aviv. At that point an El Al security guy whisked me into the bowels of the airport to identify our bags and answer questions about them. He explained that we could not get on the flight with the bags until they had been cleared by the airline. When I mentioned that the luggage had already been screened by the TSA in D.C., he laughed and said, "And you trust the TSA to protect you?" While American air travel security is just for show, he said, the Israeli version is for real.

Although he was hardly a disinterested observer, the comparison had the ring of truth. To begin with, Israeli screeners tend to be brighter and better trained than their American counterparts. Like the TSA, they scan baggage and run people through metal detectors. But much of their job involves asking passengers questions and reading their responses, including tone of voice and body language. This approach, which is in some ways more intrusive than a TSA pat-down and in other ways less so, requires skills that you can't learn in a quick pre-employment course and screeners who do more than watch monitors and wave wands. In the U.S., which has many more flights than Israel and faces a lower risk of terrorist attacks, I'm not sure whether more-professional airline security personnel would be worth the cost. But from what I've seen and read of the TSA in action, the El Al screener was right that the U.S. program is essentially cosmetic. The question is whether the appearance of security serves to deter terrorists or only to falsely reassure passengers.

Joke all you want, but I'm really nervous about my flights this week. The TSA will no doubt spend a lot of Your Tax Dollars to ensure that Bin Laden's not hiding in my bra, but they won't do a damn thing to make sure the plane's cargo hold is bomb-free. They'll violate my privacy to make sure there are no nukes in my cosmetic kit, but won't lift a finger to make sure the maintenance crews aren't doing bad things to the engine and landing gear.

In 1968, a new era in air piracy commenced as disaffected Palestinians and other Arabs used passenger jets to lash out against Israel. The first such hijacking happened on July 23, 1968, when three Arabs seized a Tel Aviv-to-Rome flight of El Al, the Israeli airline. The plane was diverted to Algiers, where the passengers were eventually released, although some were held for a month.

El Al became an industry leader in airline security by screening passengers, posting armed guards on its flights and equipping cockpits with armored doors. Political hijackers then began focusing on other airlines that serviced Israel, including a number of American air carriers. In 1970, Palestinians achieved the landmark coordinated hijackings of three jets—one each from TWA, Swissair and British Airways. The planes were diverted to Jordan, emptied of passengers and crew, and blown up. (Many terrorism experts view that hijacking as a blueprint for the deadly attacks of September 11, 2001.)

But American authorities were loath to make sweeping changes in air security, even after the trio of hijackings to Jordan. President Nixon ordered the usual response of armed sky marshals on some flights. More aggressive measures, including baggage inspection and metal detectors, were rejected as being bad for the air travel business: They would make passengers jittery.

Airline security expert Shlomo Dror pointed out the differences between Israeli and American security methods. The Israelis search for weapons, but they concentrate on the passengers. Every passenger is checked against a list of potential terrorists.

In addition, passengers are profiled. Suspicious-looking people are selected for questioning, with a view to identifying those with false identification or questionable reasons for traveling. Bags are searched, and armed agents are on most flights.

In contrast, we ignore the passengers and concentrate on weapons, scissors and flip out style Mercedes/Benz automotive keys. But what is a weapon? Prior to 9-11, box cutters would not have been included. And prior to would-be shoe bomber Richard Reid, nobody would have thought of examining shoes.

Israelis concentrate on suspicious passengers, but we avoid profiling and search children and elderly ladies, while young Middle Eastern-appearing men often pass freely. Liberal do gooders and politically correct pussies are afraid to offend anyone who appears muslim or middle eastern, but will freely rifle through an old ladies bag or a Jewish man's tallis bag.

Dror summarized the situation by stating that America does not have an airline security system – it has a system for annoying passengers.


Or course we must continue to search for weapons. But as the shoe bomber showed, we cannot recognize all weapons. If a shoe could be a bomb, a necktie or a belt could be a garrote. Shall we insist that businessmen arrive at their destinations tieless and with their pants falling down?

Books, laptops or bags could be clubs. Eyeglasses could be broken and yield sharp pieces of glass. A shirt could be pulled off and used to tie up a cabin attendant.

In order to be sure passengers are not carrying weapons, we could insist that they travel nude. But what if they were experts in martial arts? In fact, there is no way to be sure, because the most dangerous weapon is the human mind.

If we spent less time searching elderly ladies for crochet hooks and more time scrutinizing likely terrorists, we could make air travel safer and less annoying. But to do that, we would have to admit that the underlying belief system of liberalism is false.

Evil is not an external influence, something outside ourselves that forces us to perform bad acts. People don't kill because they have a gun, a knife or a box cutter.

People don't kill because they are poor. Most of the 9-11 hijackers were from upper-middle-class families, and bin Laden is a multi-millionaire.

People kill because they have bad values. They kill because they lack the inhibitions that good values produce. They kill because they have never been taught that anything is superior to their own desires. They kill because they want to, and often because they enjoy it.

If 9-11 was not a sufficiently strong lesson, it is difficult to imagine what would be. Will it take a nuclear blast or a release of Ebola virus to cure us of our delusion that inanimate objects can be evil?

Now we hear that we are under attack by young Middle Eastern men. Again we don't listen. We pretend that we have as much to fear from all ethnic, religious, age and gender groups. But ignoring facts can be dangerous. Indeed, it can be fatal.

We rightly condemn suicide bombers and airline hijackers, whose perverted fanaticism requires human sacrifice. But let us take care not to imitate them.

Aren't "civil liberties" fanatics doing exactly that? Don't they claim that another terrorist attack is preferable to profiling? Aren't they demanding that we offer human sacrifices to their pagan gods of liberalism and multiculturalism.

At the Gerald R. Ford International Airport, a TSA supervisor is famous for taking away blunt tipped little 3 inch sewing kit scissor away from old ladies and traveling business people. Another Supervisor at the Gerarld R. Ford Airport in Grand Rapids insist that Screeners require women to remove even clingy sweaters, even if they are wearing revealing garments underneath. But then again, this is the same Supervisor that emailed to several screeners a picture of a little boy holding his penis. Hmmm, the skeletons in ones closet. But as some of us know, according to the TSA, these Supervisors and managers are the best and the brightest. (Shit, I gagged just having typed that little peice of fiction, as if) They have been sent to the best supervisory training in the country.

Managers and administrators of the TSA could afford to learn something from the Jewish State of Israel when it comes to airline security.

LETTER FROM THE LONEWATCHMAN

I was discriminated against twice for my service while at TSA. Imagine
how it felt coming back from a mission directly related to national
security, to have that service held against me. First some simpletons
for one of the agencies that hired the first round of screeners lost a
bunch of security clearances. So the screeners whom were not overseas
and face to face with terrorists, simply went to the airport police
office for finger prints, filled out their paperwork again, and that
was that. Of course returning vets were expected to drive to a local
police department, on their own time, without the workman's comp
umbrella. Then once at this police department we had to pay our own
money and get reimbursed later.
The law says vets returning from military duty to civilian employment
are not suppose to be treated any differently than the civilian
employees. But here it was, being asked to go on our own time, at our
own expense, and our own risk to do something everyone else did on the
clock. This instance was created by our admin officer, who should have
known better. This guy could have turned our FSD into the face of the
prejudice employer during a time of war, in the eyes of the media. I
was only hours away from contacting Employer Support of the Guard and
Reserve (ESGR). It was a slam dunk case, it was about to become a
metaphoric massacre in the legal realm. Luckily a supervisor and a
manager understood the gravity of situation and did what needed to be
done to make everything cool and legal. I bet to this day those two
ladies don’t get any credit for averting a legal and public relations
nightmare for our FSD. In fact I am fairly confident senior management
doesn’t even know about it.
The next instance of discrimination came soon after, when bonuses were
being paid out. The idea was to reward every screener with a nice bonus
of about 300 bucks. Once again however our shameless admin officer just
didn’t understand your not suppose to hold service against vets. He
decided since some screeners were on military duty, they don’t qualify
for the bonuses. The law of course guarantees that employees on
military duty get all the same pay, increases, and incentives other
employees do, so it's as if the vet had never left. Basically the vets
were being told you can’t have a bonus because you were defending the
country overseas. This was not an individual bonus, this was a blanket
bonus every screener received. Nor was it a bonus that was paid while
we were gone, it was being paid after we had returned. Again an
internal struggle occurred and put several vets from all levels of
management solidly against the admin officer. Eventually the vets did
get the bonus, almost a month later. The fact remains though that this
admin officer committed two acts of discrimination against vets, and he
still has his job. Would he still be working there if he had
discriminated twice against people of another ethnic group? The only
thing worse than a civilian dumping on vets, is when other vets let it
happen. -Lonewatchman

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MORE TSA JOKES!

More TSA jokes

1. How is the TSA like septic tanks: All the biggest peices of crap eventually rise to the top.

2.Q: How many TSA Screener Managers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. At least 4, plus a Screener. One to hire the Screener to screw it in for them, a second to supervise the victim, a third to start nit-picking about the way the bulb is being screwed, and a fourth to screw the victim by firing him. They take the credit though none of them actually touched the light bulb.

3.Definition of TSA Screener Stress:The minds ability to override the body's desire to kick the crap out of some Supervisor who has it coming!

4.Comments that you could put in a TSA Supervisors Quarterly Evaluation(would'nt it be nice)
a.I would not allow this employee to breed.
b.When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there.
c.This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
d.If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
e.It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
f.Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
g.If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'll get change.

5.After a two year long study, The National Science Foundation announced the following results on Corporate America's recreation preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed people is: BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is: FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: BASEBALL
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: TENNIS
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: GOLF

CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

6.All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. "I should be in charge", said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".
"I should be in charge", said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away".
"I should be in charge", said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy".
"I should be in charge", said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal".
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic.
Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
The moral of the story?
You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge ... just an asshole.

LETTER FROM A DISSED VET

INTERESTING LETTER I FOUND AT A SCREENER WEBSITE. SOUNDS FAMILIAR? PROMOTING A PERSON WITH A GED (WHOME IF YOU HAVE EVER READ ANYTHING THAT THIS PERSON HAS WRITTEN, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT HE/SHE PROBABLY DID'NT EVEN WRITE THEIR OWN RESUME LET ALONE THE KSA's) OVER QUALIFIED PEOPLE WITH COLLEGE AND VET STATUS.

CDR Moriarty (and all Veteran Officers),
I salute you - in the proper sense of the term.
I am currently in the Navy Reserve. Although I chose the enlisted route, I have been CPO (E7 for you non military types) Board eligible for the past 6 years; and in process of submitting my package for LDO. I have a BA degree in business, 10 years civilian management success and a total of 17 years active and reserve Navy time. I have been selected as both unit and Reserve Center sailor of the quarter and nominated for sailor of the year.

There is a two faced TSA, 1 engaged in public ally stating they "support" Veterans, and the second - the "TRUE" TSA that does everything they can to discriminate and harass Veterans. I salute you for ensuring my freedom and my family's freedom to live - in the greatest country ever, with all its troubles and problems, there is nothing even close anywhere else throughout the world. Although I remain on duty, ready to be called to the next operation, you and so many other Veterans have already given so much, and deserve the respect of our grateful nation. If anyone can visit the Vietnam Memorial in Wash. D.C. without shedding a tear, they just aren't human or simply have absolutely no clue what-so-ever. Yet these same people want to set policy and make judgments for those of us who have/are/will serve(ed). They vote to limit health-care and benefits to Veterans, then vote to give $$Millions to families who lost relatives in the 9-11-2001 tragedy. What makes the life of a civilian more valuable than that of a soldier fighting for days, months and even years - tirelessly and dying protecting the civilians so they do not have to be subjected to the horrors and trudged of war???. How do they look into the eyes of a Veteran that has lost both legs and his best friend or brother, then tell him they are reducing his medical coverage and treatment for his combat injuries, so they can afford their pay raise or even the pay-out to the victims/families of 9/11. This all ties into the TSA and their mis-treatment of Veterans. Refusing to recognize years of service, service (combat and other) disabilities, training, education, experience, professionalism, dedication, ability and desire to make a difference..... (true example...) all in favor of a 19 year old Hispanic female with a G.E.D. that they tell all Veterans is "More qualified and has been selected over you for the Supervisor Position." What an insult! This is absolutely not racial, but the discrimination against Vets in favor of Hispanic Females at MCO is rampant.

This all leads me to your remarks below...........

Unfortunately, the "TSA Standard" is the KING of Oxymorons....

There is absolutely NO STANDARD of any kind - What-so-ever.

With one exception.... the TSA "Standard" of allowing, promoting and even encouraging:

* Discrimination
* Harassment
* Corruption
* Fraud
* Verbal Assault of employees
* Physical Assault of employees
* Nepotism
* Cronyism
* Fiduciary Mismanagement
* Security Violations

This IS the TSA "STANDARD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If they really want a successful organization, put the military and Veterans in charge. No - we probably won't offer nearly as much customer service, but the American and Flying public WILL BE SAFER !!! We will accomplish this with far less cost, far more expediency and for those passengers who bring weapons claiming they forgot... far more jail time.

Americans especially need to wake up and take things seriously. Let them try to survive 1 week in Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Mogadishu, Sierra Leon, Guantanamo Bay (Cuba) and camp 'x-ray' ... or any number of locations in the troubled world our military is sent... Just let them try. This is serious,... and using hand puppets, stickers and fake security checks isn't helping the problem any - at all.

Someone recently mentioned a "Million Screener" march.... I suggest starting a grass roots campaign for a MILLION VETS March on Washington, D.C.. Lets tell the politicians - "Were mad as hell, and were not going to take it anymore !"

* You know,.... with the success Bob Marchetta has had with MAWA, maybe we can convince him after turning things over to a new president, he can head up a National Veterans Rally. Imagine the impact and clout millions of Veterans and their families can have !!!What do you think - Bob ????

Les ****** (TSA - Lead TSS) (Last name omitted by webmaster to protect writer)
Naval Security Force - NS MYP
Admin Division Officer
http://www.fp84243.com
AFRC - Orlando
9500 Armed Forces Drive - Suite 200
Orlando, FL 32827
407-240-5939 / 800-221-9401
Fax: 407-816-6516
Home: xxx-xxxx
Cell: xxx-xxxx

TSA JOKES- AIN'T IT THE TRUTH BROTHAS AND SISTAS!

The funniest one I've heard yet !!! Five surgeons are discussing who was the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. TSA supervisors, screening managers and FSD's are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable!" Laughing 2

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for TSA supervisor position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."Laughing 1

TSA PLEDGE:
1. DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!
2. I PROMISE TO NEVER QUESTION AUTHORITY!
3. I PROMISE TO NEVER BRING UP MY RIGHTS!
This is brought to you, courtesy of the Ministry of Homeland Security

MORE TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE...

THIS IS AN EDITORIAL I FOUND WRITTEN BY A SCREENER AT BOSTON LOGAN AIRPORT. SOUNDS KIND OF LIKE THE SAME STUFF AT GRR. REMEMBER THE SCREENER COUNCIL? RODGER THE DODGER AND CO. NOT EVER WANTING TO ADDRESS "REAL" ISSUES CONCERNING SCREENERS. THE GROUP DISBANDED. THEN IT WAS REVIVED UNDER THE GUISE OF THE NEW AFSD. WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPEND TO THAT ONE. ONCE AGAIN, NO REAL ISSUES RESOLVED AND THE PERSON WHO WAS CHARGED WITH REVIVING IT WAS HARRASSED TO THE POINT OF HAVING TO RESIGN OUT OF FEAR FOR HIS/HER JOB FOR TRYING TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEMS FACING SCREENERS BECAUSE OF INEXPERIENCED AND INEFFECTIVE SUPERVISORS WITH INFLATED EGO'S.

Dear Screeners and Leads:

Heard about this being done early last week
when a screening manager came around to
ask the Supervisor to select a few specific
sceeners and Leads to appear at this hush-
hush MASSPORT Media room. Each selected
person seemed happy as a pig in mud, when
they were also told they'd naturally be paid
to go there. Something that doesn't occur
if one attends any monthly FSD meeting and
isn't working...

Not so subtle bribery attempt to co-opt
management desired positive answers from
those they also quietly selected, perhaps...?

We confirmed the actual matter that unfolded
here in that very hush-hush meeting today, when
we spoke with one of the Leads whom was invited.

Here's what occurred:

To help undermine any now public media articles
telling of unusually high [for a federal agency]
turnover rates at major airports, like Logan
International in Boston, Massachusetts and the
desire by more and more currently employed TSA
screeners to speak to the US media letting the
public know 'what' wrong at TSA headquarters
[management-wise]...the Dept of Homeland
Security Office of Inspector General's office
reps, is quietly visiting each US airport [to meet
with local TSA-management selected screeners
and Leads]...to gather information on 'how'
great things are with each of us.

At no point, is any screener or Lead whom ever
brought a major employee concern up at any
US airport meeting, in writing to their managers
or to TSA HQs, etc...getting invited to speak.
People with real concerns, our concerns mind
you...are being purposefully excluded to help
manipulate the results in favor of 'how'
management and TSA headquarters ran
things.

Each covert visit is being held in locations
that any regular screener can't help but to
be intimidated by [thus, won't say what
really angers them so far over the course
of the past year...]. For example, every
monthly FSD Town Hall meeting is held in
Logan Airport's MASSPORT Media Room.
This is where local TSA managers asked
their self-selected 'unbiased and
independently speaking' screeners and Leads,
to sit down...one on one...and answer
numerous DHS/TSA orchestrated questions.
* Remember, local management quickly let
them know they'd "be paid for their time to attend",
rightafter asking them to attend a hush-hush
meeting a few days after they were each
asked...

The selected invitees, were offered up
several hours of loaded questions, designed
to get DHS/TSA friendly answers...not
answers that reveal the current level of
anger and frustration with 'how' Loy and
his staff, or our U.S. airport TSA staffs,
made employee harmful choices for the
last twelve months.

Looks and smells like a 'white-washed'
report full of the typical lies...oops, I mean,
'mis-information' which we poor souls that
don't work in TSA HQs...just can never seem
to get correct.

If any screener or Lead, offered their local
TSA managing team, FSD, or TSA HQs...any
to date ignored major employee group
concern, and weren't invited to this covert
DHS OIG, they should write the DHS OIG's
office and ask 'why' they were manipulated
out of the loop for what actually, to be fair...
should have been an 'Open-house' or 'Free to
speak our mind Town Hall forum', for gathering
real facts from unbiased screeners and Leads,
and in a naturally less intimidating environment.

Is anyone surprised by this?...

Just another reason to speak unofficially
about issues that anger so many whom work
as screeners and Leads.

As long as no screener or Lead, mentions
anything about SSI-like items, ie: training
procedures, testing procedures, 'how' they
perform their roles at work or anything about
their opinion of technology we all use performing
our duties...every other subject is reserved
as a constitutional "free speech' right.

That's it from here in Boston.

WHEN WILL THEY GET IT!- Article from Screener-Central.com

This article was taken from Screener-Central.com
Contarary to the bullshit that is spoon fed to you during briefings by supervisors who censor information that is given to Screeners and the fuzzy feel good get togethers that the FSD and the AFSD do on an irregular basis, they're are sources of information out there on the internet. I am researching some of these and will include a list of links real soon to those of you who don't already know about these websites.


Pittsburgh Resignations Another Illustration of Widespread Corruption and Abuse

The recent resignations of three senior TSA officials at Pittsburgh International Airport are just one more in a series of blatant examples of an agency that is inherently corrupt and does its utmost to cover up wrongdoing until it can no longer deny it.

The three Pittsburgh officials -- FSD Robert Blose, AFSD Craig Martelle, and DFSD for Screening Bill Rough -- resigned following an investigation that culminated in a peer review board made up of other TSA officials, including FSDs from other airports.
TSA spokeswoman Ann Davis declined to discuss the investigation and would not say whether that led to the resignations, according to a report by the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

What a shock. Even when the TSA knows that we know the reasons behind the "resignation for personal reasons" farce, the agency fals back into its old M.O. -- deny, deny, deny.

But what the TSA cannot deny is that the problems faced by sreeners in the form of abusive and corrupt senior management exist and that the problem is more widespread than it would like to believe.

Seattle-Tacoma. Buffalo. Pittsburgh. Sacramento. Guam. Saipan. Houston. Miami. Chicago. Albany. Portland.

Abusive management is all over, it seems. Threats and intimidation, retaliation, non-promotion of whistleblowers, shredding of documents, falsified reports and complaints against screeners, sexual harassment, failure to properly investigate criminal complaints, lying in response to Congressional inquiries, actively working to thwart employee's workers compensation claims, failing to maintain official documents...

And the EEO complaints keep piling up.

Three years of substantially poor treatment of screeners is still not enough, it seems. The TSA administration still turns a blind eye whenever it can. Only when there is concrete, physical proof of wrongdoing, when Congressional representatives inquire, and when the media reports on allegations of wrongdoing does the TSA take truly pro-active steps to eliminate the problem.

And in the end, the officials who are responsible for the abuses are allowed to "resign for personal reasons."

As far as I'm concerned, the officials who are found to have earned a trip to the exit door should be terminated from employment. Allowing them to "resign" is an insult to every TSA screener who has suffered at their hands, who has been wrongfully terminated, and who has suffered emotionally and physically from sexual harassment and retaliation.

According to one news report, "TSA employees at Pittsburgh International were told Tuesdday to let their three former managers pack their belongings and leave the airport quietly." Why? Those officials should have had to walk the gantlet, facing each and every screener on their long walk to their office, that enclave of mismanagement, to collect their personal items, and then faced those same screeners on their way out the door. As the door closed behind them, a mighty cheer and roar should be heard from inside.

Former TSA employee Burns said it well, I thought. ""I think they put the word out that they wanted to let these guys have some dignity and respect. Unfortunately, we weren't given any respect. We put up with their abuse for three years."

Amen.

Some of the same allegations made against the Pittsburgh officials have been made right here in Sacramento. Pittsburgh screeners complained that "they were sexually harassed... and complaints were not investigated. Accusers say they were intimidated. The alleged harassment included ... inappropriate hugging, threats involving sexual innuendoes...," all of which have happened at SMF as well as other airports around the country.

It's a shame that the TSA doesn't take all such complaints seriously. God bless the screeners in Pittsburgh who got some action, but I suspect that without Congressional intervention and reporting by the media the three abusive managers would still be there and most of the complaining screeners would be gone.

It's long past time for things to turn around in the TSA. Unfortunately a lot of people are going to have to go or have a rapid and complete change of heart for that to happen. It's more likely that the TSA will be disbanded than the idiots running things will actually decide to do right by their employees who are suffering injustices.

Catch a clue, TSA. You're managers are treating "your most valuable resource" like utter crap, and you're losing some of your best people because of it.

It's not too late for those at the top of the TSA food chain to redeem themselves. But it's going to take a lot. At this point I think it's going to take a lot more than they have. Desire is no longer enough.

Mark Arsenault
Webmaster, Admin, and Head Janitor
Screeners Central

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

LETTERS FROM SCREENERS-TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE

Dear Rogue Jew,


I left TSA 2 Months Ago: I spent over 2 years in the TSA and left just over 2 months ago. I would have to say that leaving was the best decision I ever made. I was lucky to have actually found a company where my degree mattered, and management is both competent and fair. You truly dont realize how poor TSA is until you have some time to sit back and reflect on your experiences. Here are the biggest negatives of TSA that I witnessed- PROMOTIONS- Joke. I actually had a lead above me with no formal education or job experience to speak of. On top of that the individual was 21 years old. This individual then got promoted to supervisor. I had a college degree, worked hard, and am working on my masters. Couldn't even make it above screener. Pathetic. Management sucks. Having worked for TSA I would say that airline travel might be marginally safer, but from what I witnessed most screeners are disatisfied and looking to get out. Not a place to build a career. Until some strong managerial material is hired, which will probably never happen, TSA will continue to be the disorganized mess that it is today!! Good luck to all of you still in. Have much respect for you. ITS GREAT WHEN YOU GET OUT!!

Dear Rogue Jew,

Yes getting out was GREAT!: I miss the people I worked with and I miss the way I felt when I first signed on to become a part of something good. I DON'T miss the DAILY intimidation, the upper management morons, and the outright lack of accountability from screening manager up. The organization will never improve until they acquire LEADERS in management, instead of what they have now- BULLIES. Hell, even an honest, intelligent bully would be an improvement.....

Dear Rogue Jew,

Leads & Supervisors !!!!: Heres my favorite part of my job (SARCASTICLY)... when theres a long ass line practically out the door and IGNORANT,LAZY WANNA BE's are sitting behind the checkpoint and decide to only get up to give stupid orders that dont really matter at the time instead of helping out. Gee, I dont really think that whether the wand is on the xray or tunnel is important, or if women make the metal detector ring its because "WE" didnt divest them properly...ITS CALLED JEWERLY AND PEOPLE WHO CANT OR REFUSE TO TAKE THEM OFF!!!!!! ALSO dont complain about who does what at what time or how and when , if your lazy behind just sits around and watches the screeners bust our asses, get yelled at all day and do more work than you!!! Yeah, you get paid more for what I have no idea and more than enough screeeners will defenitely agree with me on this one!!! So instead of taking those 2 or 3 stripes to YOUR HEAD dont forget you were a screener at one point in your life unless you CHEATED to get where your at!!! "WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND... eventually!!!!


Hi folks, I'll be up front with my identity, it's not a big deal to me. I'm Gil Miller, a former supervisor in case some of you may not remember me. I left the TSA in December of 2003. First let me say I don't miss the TSA at all. Quitting the job I had to take that job was probably one of the worst decisions that I had ever made, but from even poor decisions sometimes good things can happen. And I did make some friends there that I will never forget. Luckily, I was able to return to the job that I left for the TSA. However, from time to time I find myself wondering what is going on in the lives of my friends and former colleagues at CVG.

Dear Rogue Jew,

RE TSA policy on management bullying and indimitation techniques: Can someone let me know how to find the documentation that explains how TSA managers are supposed to use bullying and intimidation in the workplace? They are so very good at it I thought I'd like to study the techniques and guidance they use. The average small-minded and self important manager could take some pointers from these guys! I've never seen bullying and intimidation taken to such artful places, these people are genuine visionaries!

Dear Rogueish One,

Does anyone actually believe that any leads, supervisors or managers out there are qualified to be in the positions they hold? I am in FLL, and these people are horrible. I couldn't rate ANY of those I have worked with as truly capable or even remotely qualified. We have a manager with the personality of a bulldog and that went from a private "$8 an hour screener" to a federal screening manager making 4x that, just because the Government stepped in and said: "we want people that worked here before". . . Does that make sense seeing how they wanted to get rid of the idiots that were in those positions previously? And, as if It would take more than a month on the job. The problem is nationwide, a bunch of unqualified, lazy and overpaid Managers, at least some of the leads work. It's everywhere. Pretty soon the GOV will start pulling out, starting from the top.

Dear Rogue Jew,

Hell, man, we got a doughnut dollie as a supervisor(asst. mgr at doughnut shop). A forced retired army sergeant as another sup. A kollige graduwait with a major in history with no supervisory experience. A private eye as another(ooops, forgot, called someone a racial slur in front of witnesses for the fourth time and got his royal ass canned). Got a Screening Mgr retired from a major airline as a personnel vp that only wants to retire in a year with all that great fed. pension system. Got another SM that retired from navy as Captain(I think it was Capt. Krunch). Runs TSA as his own personal domain and very poorly at that. Too much seawater on the brain. Leads that could in private enterprises barely lead themselves to the shitter. Oh, well, so much for a well-oiled machine.

Dear Rogue Jew,

Hi. I'm your friendly baggage screener. I have a short survey for you to figure out if you also work in hell. 1. Do you regularly ship 55 gal. coolers of loose chicken parts? 2. Does at least 60% of your terminal speak another language? 3. Do you frequently work with 8 people for a shift with 1500 pax? 4. Does your managerial staff completely have their heads up their ass and/or someone else's? 5. Are you on LEAVE RESTRICTIONS? If you answered yes to all these questions, then I'm very glad to have you on my team, WELCOME TO HELL !!!

Dear Rogue Jew,

Come on man, get real. TSA management has been corrupt from: the god damn rollout. Cronies protect cronies. Do you really think that Washington DC is going to fire the very same people THEY selected for those positions? The TSA in nothing more than a safe-haven for inept managers that infested this organization. It started out with a noble casue but quickly turned into a dumping ground for ex-FAA morons and friends of those in high places. They have fired some FSD's, but only when they were forced to because the FSD no longer played their game. Ask anyone in Raleigh. The system is a waste of money and GSO is not any different from most of the other airports. One can only hope that Secretary Chertoff nukes the shit out of the screening system that has proven over and over again to be nothing more than a waste of money and effort. My advice to you remains the same, get out now and roll your time over to a real secure federal job. A job where you can work without the fear of being stabbed in the back by your co-worker. The grumbings in Washington aren't very TSA screening friendly lately.

AND THE LETTERS KEEP ROLLING IN. THE NAMES HAVE BEEN DELETED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND TO KEEP THE SNITCHES AT BAY.

KEEP EM COMING.......THE ROGUE JEW