The funniest one I've heard yet !!! Five surgeons are discussing who was the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. TSA supervisors, screening managers and FSD's are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable!"
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for TSA supervisor position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."
1. DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!
2. I PROMISE TO NEVER QUESTION AUTHORITY!
3. I PROMISE TO NEVER BRING UP MY RIGHTS!
This is brought to you, courtesy of the Ministry of Homeland Security