Friday, July 15, 2005


More TSA jokes

1. How is the TSA like septic tanks: All the biggest peices of crap eventually rise to the top.

2.Q: How many TSA Screener Managers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. At least 4, plus a Screener. One to hire the Screener to screw it in for them, a second to supervise the victim, a third to start nit-picking about the way the bulb is being screwed, and a fourth to screw the victim by firing him. They take the credit though none of them actually touched the light bulb.

3.Definition of TSA Screener Stress:The minds ability to override the body's desire to kick the crap out of some Supervisor who has it coming!

4.Comments that you could put in a TSA Supervisors Quarterly Evaluation(would'nt it be nice)
a.I would not allow this employee to breed.
b.When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there.
c.This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
d.If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
e.It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
f.Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
g.If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'll get change.

5.After a two year long study, The National Science Foundation announced the following results on Corporate America's recreation preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed people is: BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is: FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: BASEBALL
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: TENNIS
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: GOLF

CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

6.All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. "I should be in charge", said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".
"I should be in charge", said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away".
"I should be in charge", said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy".
"I should be in charge", said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal".
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic.
Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
The moral of the story?
You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge ... just an asshole.

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